I think a good portion of people are generally interested in the paranormal because of their own grief. I think it’s a field people turn too to find what they have lost.
I’ve always had a interest in all things spooky and mysterious but until I lost my dad that was when I really started to venture into the unknown. I suppose part of us is still searching for the answer…are my love ones still around? What truly happens when we die? When we die is that really it – The end….?
Some of us may know in our hearts that our love ones are still around, some of you may have had experiences to prove they are but some of you may not really truly be sure and you seek that evidence in order to find the answer. However, some people never really do and leave broken.
I’ve come to realise that Grief really has no end. You just become used to a life without that person. However, the pain never lessens. Simple things can trigger your grief, like for instance – I was triggered clearing my dads vinyls from the attic this week. What we need to remember is grief has no time line…its always with us but we can’t let the emotion consume us all the time and that is the hard part!
I have my own theory about contact with our love ones when they pass and whether you chose to take my theory on board is completely up to you reading this.
My theory is that when a person passes they have a 30 day window to let you know they are ok. These signs could take form in many ways but generally it will be something that makes you know that it probably is them – it’s a gut instict. So a electrical device may start playing up, a song will come on the radio as you turn it on, a white feather may appear or even a Robin. You may even have things move, hear their voice for a moment or have what you think is a dream where they tell you they are ok. It can be the smallest of things and they are what you need to look out for.
I then think they have to move on. I don’t know where they move on too, most of us like to think ‘heaven’ but I think they have to let go of us as much as we have to let go of them. I do believe though, we can when we need them pull them back here to provide us comfort but I think it’s only when they feel we really do need them.
A typical example of this could be people who have a NDE who see relatives and tell them it is not time and send them back.
I often get people message me after losing a family member to see if I can come round to see if their love one is ok. I always tell them that there is no promise that their love one may come in and that is important to remember.
I’ve witnessed numerous people go to mediums countless times when they are in them early stages of grief and even though to some degree some mediums may be able to give some comfort to you. Just be cautious, if they are asking for a lot of money for a reading or want personal information from you prior then don’t go with them. I’ve found the best mediums charge very little if anything at all and they are normally the ones who are not that very well known.
Also, don’t become addicted to going to see a medium. I have seen people book weekly readings with mediums and treat them as if they are a telephone to the other side and if a medium is allowing you to do this they are probably playing on your vulnerability and it’s more than likely you are just their income.
Don’t be taken in by ghost hunters either, I believe some in the community very much play on peoples vulnerability to gain their very much needed income. If it seems like entertainment – it’s because it is.
The Wind Phone – Japan – A more psychological grieving approach.
I recently seen a documentary which mentioned in Japan they have what is called the Wind Phone. The concept is beautiful – it’s about bridging a gap between life and death.
One day, a man called Sasaki Itaru installed a phone box in the garden of his house at the foot of Kujira-yama, just next to the city of Ōtsuchi, one of the places worst hit by the tsunami on the 11th of March in 2011.
He lost his cousin suddenly when the tsunami hit and the wind phone helped him cope with his loss. He realised he missed conversations with his cousin and often went to contact his cousin to realise there was no point. His loneliness and grief made him put a phone outside – disconnected. He went outside to the telephone box to let his experiences out. Sasaki explains it as he lets his voice pass through the wind…. I have to wonder if he feels by letting his voice pass through the wind that his cousin may somehow receive the message he is trying to pass to him.
Sasaki describes the experience as being ‘mindfulness’ but I can’t help but feel abit of his spirituality is coming out in what he’s trying.
The wind phone has had over 35 thousand people visit it a year since 2011 and a lot leave feeling some kind of peace.
Getting to the wind phone is a exercise in itself with beautiful scenery and a place to really lose yourself in nature. Then when you reach the phone, it is disconnected but you can pick up the receiver and say them things you really need to say.
It’s proved that effective that we may at some point see wind phones in the UK and Poland.
How many times have you experienced something during the day and you just wish that you could pick up the phone and tell that someone you are missing all about it? But we don’t because we know if we dial that number they are not there to answer, we would feel silly even trying.
The wind phone obviously works on a good imagination. Psychologically, it is a really good and personal exercise to let out them emotions that eat us up so much in the privacy of a telephone box but it proves it helps.
It’s also a place where people can come together and talk about their stories and how they are feeling and I think really during the grieving process what we really need to do is….just talk.